Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
