2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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