Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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