wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just cropdusted the office
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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