in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
