pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize