FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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