This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We are two peas in an std pod
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
