Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(307): View more from Wyoming

North Korea, Best Korea!

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(785): View more from Kansas

Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.

Fav 11 1325 4127
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(205): View more from Alabama

I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.

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(845): View more from New York

I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.

Fav 17 1348 2710
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(925): View more from California

All I want is tacobeell and your body

(1-925): View more from California

that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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(407): View more from Florida

That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up

(347): View more from New York

Yeah I hope she's okay.

(347): View more from New York

I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.

Fav 2 52 101
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.

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