Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
