I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
