I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
