dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
