Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We left the knife in your bed.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
