I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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