Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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