He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
