please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
