So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You pole danced in your parka.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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