oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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