I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
