Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
