We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
