Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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