i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
