Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
