Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
