My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
