I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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