I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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