i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
