I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
