Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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