I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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