he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
