How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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