Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
one might say we're banned from that church
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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