Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
