My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
