Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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