She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
