you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
smell my finger.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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