dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
