he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
