It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
