Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
