Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
