oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
