can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
