No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
