He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Come on in and take your pants off
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