then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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