You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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