oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
