We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
