i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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