The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
