i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
