Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
