Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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