talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
