Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
