i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
