She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
