suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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