I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize