omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I touched a dick in church today
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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