I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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