my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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