i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
