it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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