So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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