I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
