I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
