All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
