did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I love having hate sex.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
