So drunk, too bad you don't want this
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
