He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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