Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
