what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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