Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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