well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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