Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
